Closet Checker

Closet Checker

I hate finding things.

Sadly, this isn’t a commentary upon gender in our society. Rather, it’s about the scary things that go bump in the night. I really want to have someone who’ll go into the basement and see if there’s a monster down there. Otherwise I have to do it.

I just hope I never FIND anything.


Not a Ghost

Not a Ghost

I prefer ghosts. They can’t eat me.

You know the thing about ghosts? They’re dead. I mean, that’s a bad thing if you’re seeing them, but what about not-ghosts? They’re alive, and they could be anything.

If I saw something pretending to be a ghost, I’m running for the hills. On the other hand, if you see a ghost, who ya gonna call?

The media. Because that would be amazing!

Dark Sea

The sea doesn't belong just to monsters!

The sea doesn’t belong just to monsters!

You can’t draw monsters without doing something with them. I personally sometimes despair that I can’t make things as scary as they are to me.

But anyways: the green thing on the left is a creature of many eyes, your average nightmare. The oozing things on the bottom are The Hungry, which gather and feed on the unwary.

Fun stuff.

Library Sales

No, but I'll take a heart attack.

No, but I’ll take a heart attack.

A few days ago I talked about marketing books to readers like myself. After much thought, this was the only viable option I could come up with. I need help.

Pirate is to me, a cute kid with serious moments, especially in her book. But I think if I saw anyone, especially a child peering at me through the bookshelves at night I’d freak out.

That said, if I could put posters and small pictures of Pirate in libraries across the world I totally would. In fact, I should just to that — just start leaving pictures of Pirate hidden wherever I go. Heart attacks for everyone!

Costume Choice

Some costumes are not appropriate even for Halloween. Naturally disturbing imagery isn’t good for the kids, but costumes with guns are probably a really bad idea as well. Still, it surprises me how scary some of the costumes are. Staying inside this Halloween.

These costumes are PG-13. At least.

These costumes are PG-13. At least.

Halloween Pinups!

I decided to join in the Halloween spirit and make up some pictures to put in my windows and on my door. My hand hurts. Anyways, feel free to print out these scary characters saying scary things!

It's a simple choice.

It’s a simple choice.

Real vampires don't sparkle.

Real vampires don’t sparkle.

Way scarier than any ghost.

Way scarier than any ghost.

You can't solve taxes with an axe. (Or can you?)

You can’t solve taxes with an axe. (Or can you?)

But worth it!

But worth it!