Don’t try this at home, kids. Adults, do what you want.
Do you have any backups in case of power outages, earthquakes, tornadoes, etc? I have my phone…and I’m sure there are some candles in my house somewhere. Realistically, I’ll survive as long as my phone battery does. After that, I’m in the dark and I’ll probably burn my house down trying to light a candle.
Snow storms are bad news. Stay warm!
I hear the snow was really bad somewhere where I wasn’t. Seriously, I heard it got to 28 inches or more in some places. That’s a lot of snow to fall in one area. Also, it’s Pirate’s turn to be irrational — I think Knight’s smart enough to stay away from any kind of blizzard.
Who needs hats?
Disclaimer: Please don’t actually put rabbits on your head. They’ll either freak out of claw your eyes. Cats on the other hand probably don’t care.
On that subject, why do we wear hats? I hate them. I’d rather use my head space for something more interesting, but maybe I’m just biased. If it’s sunny or rainy I’ll wear an umbrella.
It hurts to watch.
So, I may or may not be watching the new Looney Tunes Show. And…I like it. Seeing my old favorite characters rewritten for the modern age is fun. I’m also interested in the new Peanuts movie — I just wish there was even more Bugs Bunny and Snoopy to enjoy. Also, Pirate does terrible impressions.
The punishment for lying is death. Telling the truth is also punishable by death.
It’s funny how children, most of them, can’t lie very well. Actually, a lot of adults can’t lie well either so what am I saying? I guess I’m saying that lying is bad, and you shouldn’t do it. I find running away works a lot better.
Some nights can be good ones.
I’m sure if you asked Knight, she’d just claim she wanted to stand there for a while. She’s actually a nice person deep, deep inside. And while she’s awkward, I think the Christmas spirit I definitely don’t feel this year is embodied in small acts of kindness. Even when the world seems like it’s falling apart, small gestures matter.
There’s something wrong with every part of this picture.
You know, my first thought upon seeing what I’d drawn wasn’t how silly the idea was. It was: what poor witch did Pirate mug to steal the hat and mop? Moreover, why would anyone want to fly on a tiny, uncomfortable bit of wood at freezing altitudes? I’m sucking all the fun out of this scene…
Bad marketing is better than no marketing. Too bad I don’t have a marketer.
So I finally figured out how to find how many book sales I’ve made today. All nine of them, which is a number which is disappointing yet not cripplingly sad either. That’s just what happens with self-published books with non-existent marketing strategies.
Aside from telling you lovely, invisible folks on the blog and Facebook friends and family, I’ve done no promotional stuff. And word of mouth isn’t that great if you don’t have a lot of mouths.
Putting it generously, if I added up blog followers (some of which may or may not still be following or have existed in the first place), as well as friends on Facebook who probably don’t all ready my posts and family, that would be roughly 200 people. Even if each person went out and told ten more people (not going to happen), that’s 2000 people, only 10% of which might actually want a book like mine.
It’s better to aim your book at a specific audience. My audience would be people like me, who like young fantasy with characters like Pirate. But if I thought about how to market to myself…it’s hopeless.
I found my books browsing through the library, or if people were raving about it as the bestselling book of the century. And even then I might not buy the book. As a kid and even now, I pick up new books very slowly and usually only ones I can buy in bookstores or in print. But if I’m the target audience, I’d better find out a way to find me or else the me now won’t ever be able to sell books to me. If that makes any sense.
The monocle makes everything better.
Taking a break from boring book talk for a moment. Let’s get back onto the normal run of Pirate Blog stuff. Like style.
I don’t have a top hat in my wardrobe. I feel like this is a grievous sin. Because when I think class and style, I think: top hat, monocle, and walrus with a bowler hat.
…Seriously. I think something’s wrong with my internal fashion sense. Or I’m just crazy, but I knew that a long time ago.
Pirate Blog 