I…don’t know where this blog is heading. First we have people eating dogs, now living monsters. To be fair, they do look highly edible. Whenever I saw the generic slime monster in video games I always wondered what they tasted like. Am I the only one?
Some times I wonder about my hatred for dogs. I mean, I run around barefoot so I hate the idea of anything at ground level with teeth. Also, I’ve seen packs of wild dogs and they’re terrifying.
But maybe it’s just that I’m a cat person. Cats don’t bark or try to eat your toes. Anyways, stick people love dogs. They’ll eat anything that moves with few exceptions. I guess it’s a cultural thing.
I really should stop drawing when I’m peckish. Does anyone still use that word? Anyways, I wonder whether I can buy some moon dust and bake it into a cake. Would it kill me to eat it?
Yes. Yes, it probably would.
Have you ever eaten an ostrich egg? I sort of wonder what it would taste like, but I think I’d also feel bad about eating it. Maybe because it’s bigger? Or because I feel like that would be stealing from an actual ostrich? I dunno, but sometimes I dream of making an omelet with all 12 eggs in my carton.
Some things must not be trifled with. Such as my desserts. I’m okay with you having some of my cookies — you can eat my Halloween candy, but my cake? No. Never the cake.
I wonder why Knight’s always the target for monsters. Maybe because she looks like a snack in a can? Anyways, it’s been a long time since I had fast food. I know it’s terrible, but I’d like a cheeseburger. Hold the lettuce and tomato.
I really need to buy a Wii U just so I can play Mario Maker. It looks like tons of fun — or at least, I enjoy watching people try to beat the hardest levels. Speaking of which, do people eat Goombas in the Mushroom Kingdom? They’re fungi, but are they people?
I…made soup yesterday. It had carrots, celery, onions…soba noodles…vegetable stock…paprika…
…It tastes like what I imagine raw brains scraped along a mouldy restroom tastes like. But I ate it. Because it’s not good to waste food. That’s 5 meals over two days.
Gonna lie down now. I’m eating healthy, but I feel sick.
Why do people tell me the early bird gets the worm? Who cares? Except for the bird, that is. Also, this is sort of dark, but I think Pirate would eat both baby birds and worms if she was hungry enough. So would I, but only if I was starving. Nature is harsh. And disgusting.
I’d like to share my thoughts on morality here for a moment. We all know that eating cats and dogs is wrong and only takes place in China. (Except that it doesn’t, by and large. But that’s the stereotype.)
But Pirate’s a barbarian. She learned to survive by herself, and doesn’t understand society’s rules. If she has to live, she’ll eat even bugs. So why shouldn’t she eat cats? My answer: they’re too cute. You can have a dog buffet, but leave cats alone.