Why I Hate Summer

Bug spray, where would I be without you?

I don’t like summer, and it’s getting really warm around here. Here’s my explanation in verse.

Remove Please

There’s them that can handle creepy-crawlies, and then there’s them that can’t.

Earlier today someone linked me to a video showing off the new non-violent spider catcher. I linked them to a video of my spider-crushing shoe.

Just kidding. I’d never use my shoes when a piece of toilet paper works. But maybe some people don’t want to kill bugs. That’s cool too. But they all look like freakish monsters to me.

 

Buggy Feeling

Just one of those days, right Samsa–I mean, Knight?

10 points if you get this reference. 20 points if you remembered that Kafka was the author, not the main character of Metamorphosis. And 100 points if you get why nobody cares when you turn into a giant insect.

…I hate bugs.

Magnified Fears

I looked at a bug up close today and regretted it. The insect kingdom is not a pretty place. Anyways, while it’s true Knight’s overreacting just a tiny bit in this situation, my greatest fear is having a bug crawl into my mouth. Or into my ear.

Big or little, it’s still ugly.

Flower Protector

Today’s post comes from a place of deep hatred. Against bugs, not Knight that is. Some of the hornets I’ve seen flying about are massive, and I can’t wait for winter. On that subject though, I imagine the only thing that would be able to stand up to a wasp with a giant stinger is something with impenetrable armor. Like Knight.

She keeps the world safe one flower at a time.

Burn Squad

I’ve always dreamed of this. Revenge is a dish best not eaten and fried with a flamethrower, in my opinion. If you haven’t guessed by now, bugs are not welcome on Pirate Blog.

Knight’s got a fiery friend!

Nothing Free

Everything has a price. If you see a box of free food sitting out in the open, would you touch it? Spring is coming, and with comes the swarms of bugs. I hate bugs. But maybe if I had a bunch of poisonous cotton candy then…food for thought.

It’s not worth it.

First Contact

What would you do if you met another species? What if they looked like a bug? Pirate’s probably not the best person to make contact with an alien race, anyways.

And that’s how the war started.

Cicada

This has got to be…the nastiest thing I’ve ever drawn. This is what a cicada drawn by me looks like and you know what? It’s still nicer looking than the real thing. Cicadas: Nature’s disgusting, loud pest. Let’s all get rid of them, shall we?

Just…no.

Insect War

I hate bugs. Many would agree with me, Knight and Pirate included!

Beware the TRUE swarm!