Bad Day Delivery

It helps.

Some days are bad days. On days like that, I eat apples. It doesn’t make everything better, but it helps.

Fruit Saving

Snow and plants do not mix.

It snowed yesterday. Quite a bit, actually. It melted pretty quick too, and it didn’t stick to the streets. Normally I wouldn’t care much either way, but I’ve recently learned that snow at this time of year will hurt all the fruits that have just started growing. In short, a bad thing.

Let’s hope the snow hasn’t done too much damage to the fruits around here, or at least that the farmers know how to protect their crops. My idea was a giant umbrella…which tells me that I’m never going to be a farmer. Best stick to drawing pictures.

Midnight Hunger

She’s the scariest midnight eater under five feet tall.

The hour becomes late. I hunger. Not particularly for apples, but for popcorn. And the stick people flee the apple eater with red hair. Why do they flee? What fate awaits their dark flight into the night? We may never know.

Good Gifts

The best gifts are edible.

Well, Christmas is almost done as I’m writing this. Have you gotten everything you wanted this year? If not, did you have a good time? I’d trade all of my gifts for being with family and having a peaceful night, but I don’t have to. It’s been another good holiday, and I hope you’re all feeling the same.

Upon the Backs of Many

Necessity breeds sacrifice.

True achievements are only brought about by the pain and suffering of the masses. It takes a tyrant or a genius to stand upon the heads of the many to succeed. Pirate is none of these things. She’s just a jerk sometimes.

Apple Rampage

And Pirate’s wrath is unleashed! No stick people were killed, but I imagine several were squashed. Pirate also probably did several thousand dollar’s worth of damage as well. All for the apples.

Without apples, the world will burn!

Prison Food

DISCLAIMER: I’ve never been to prison, so I don’t know what the food there is like. But I imagine it isn’t that good. And for Pirate, bad food is the last straw. What will she do next? Well, it’s Pirate. What do you think she’ll do?

And that was the apple core that broke the stick person’s back.

Weight of Sin

A continuation of yesterday’s stealing spree…Pirate doesn’t commit very big crimes like murder, but she sure does commit a lot of small crimes. She’s also apparently capable of eating more than her own body weight in apples.

She’s an apple-eating fiend!

Not a Gentleman

Pirate is many things, but she’s not gentle. Or a man. In fact, she’s sort of a jerk. But it seems she’s hit a new low — extorting apples from innocent stick people. Not cool Pirate, not cool.

She needs some lessons in etiquette.

Downsizing

It only makes sense that stick people would have smaller trees than humans. That’s good for them, but bad for Pirate. She’d probably have to eat an orchard’s worth of apples for just one meal. I guess it’s diet time.

Pirate = Bad harvest.