Many Mothers

Many Mothers

Mother’s Day is…you know what, go for it Pirate.

Tomorrow is a special day. It’s when we say thanks to our mothers…but no one else’s for some reason. I always wondered about that. Can’t we be nice to all mothers? I mean, at least say ‘thanks for putting up with an annoying kid all this time?’ Well, maybe we shouldn’t spread the love around in case our moms get mad at us. Thanks, Mom.

Easter Expectations

Easter Expectations

The Easter Bunny is a really shady figure when you think about it.

It’s official, Pirate Blog has hit rock bottom. We’ve descended to scatology in our jokes now! But really, what would you expect when you have a holiday celebrating a weird bunny that gives out eggs?

Well, that’s popular culture. Easter also celebrates the rebirth of a certain religious figure, but I can’t draw people yet. Happy Easter!

Tender Moments

Tender Moments

Choose your moments wisely, lovers.

Once again it is up to me to ruin another beloved holiday. I think confessions and valentines and wonderful, and not just on Valentine’s Day. But doing it in a public setting seems like a big mistake, especially since insensitive jerks like Pirate abound. Also, I want to eat chocolate until I explode.

Valentine’s Tax

Valentine's Tax

True love is edible.

Valentine’s Day is a chocolate tax. Oh sure, there’s flowers, hearts, confessions, and so on, but let’s get real here. The chocolate industry is the real winner on this holiday. Pirate seems to understand the commercialism of the holiday, or at least understands that threats gets her free chocolate.

Another Year

Here's to another year of friendship and laughter!

Here’s to another year of friendship and laughter!

And just like that, the year has ended. 2015 had been a time of much sadness and a little bit of happiness, but mainly, I remember it all in days of Pirate.

One picture, every day (with one or two days I forgot to upload) for an entire year. That’s 365 pictures. And I plan to keep drawing next year as well.

I’ve got not a lot to say. This year has been eventful, and I believe next year will hold still more terrible and wonderful things. Let’s just witness them together, and I’ll be here with Pirate. Happy New Year!

PS: It’s Pirate’s birthday today. Maybe buy an apple and eat it for her.

Mouse Meal

It...it was a hungry Christmas.

It…it was a hungry Christmas.

…I apologize for the dark joke right before Christmas. But that’s the quintessential Pirate! If you’re going to eat meat, what’s the difference between mouse and cow? Hygiene, probably.

Anyways, hope your Christmas shopping is going well! Watch out for the crowds and…let the mice live.

Decorating Designation

'Tis the season to be lazy...

‘Tis the season to be lazy…

I like Christmas. I really do. But when it comes to getting a Christmas tree and decorating it…that’s why I have family.

Seriously, if it were just me I’d print out a picture of a tree and stare at it. Well, I’d probably look up a picture of a tree. Really, I’m just in it for the eggnog and presents. Mostly the eggnog. It’s good stuff!

Caroling Curse

Thus began the Christmas Carol massacre.

Thus began the Christmas Carol massacre.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve grown to hate Christmas carols the longer I’ve been alive. And no offense — especially in American supermarkets.

I can’t tell you how painful it is to hear the same songs on repeat over…and over…and over…until all you want to do is destroy Christmas like the Grinch.

Thanksgiving Trouble

It's gonna be really hard to baste.

It’s gonna be really hard to baste.

I don’t know why giant turkey attacks are part of my Thanksgiving phobias but maybe that’s because I think turkeys are weird. I don’t particularly mind eating them, but they’re weird.

Anyways, I hope you’ve all had a great Thanksgiving! Don’t explode from eating too many leftovers and watch out for turkey attacks. Just in case.