Night Cake Theft

Thou shalt not suffer a cake-thief to live.

Some things must not be trifled with. Such as my desserts. I’m okay with you having some of my cookies — you can eat my Halloween candy, but my cake? No. Never the cake.

Pirate Shark

She bites. Mainly apples.

It seems to me that transporting goods like apples through the water would be extremely cost-efficient for small people. That is, if it weren’t for menaces like underwater girls who make sharks look like small cats. It’s hard being small in a giant’s world.

Free Flight

If it’s free, don’t complain Pirate!

I wonder about falling when I’m on a plane. It seems to me a stick-person wouldn’t fear falling at all, mainly because they’re far lighter. They could literally fall hundreds of feet without a care in the world. I really envy that ability. I’d splat like a ripe tomato.

Food Division

Everyone’s got to have a snack.

I wonder why Knight’s always the target for monsters. Maybe because she looks like a snack in a can? Anyways, it’s been a long time since I had fast food. I know it’s terrible, but I’d like a cheeseburger. Hold the lettuce and tomato.

From All Sides

There’s no rest for the overworked.

There’s always someone who’s more responsible than everyone else. The person you go to when the house is on fire or you crashed your car. That person here is Knight, and I have to imagine she has bigger problems to deal with than most people. It’s not easy being competent.

Everything Pirate

…I’ve got nothing.

I just don’t know. I’m not on drugs — I feel like I’d be more creative on drugs. I’m not insane either. I just…don’t know.

Rising Waters

This is why I’ll never fall asleep at the beach. The possibility for pranks is endless, and even a small kid with a trowel could make my day very unhappy.

With that said, any would-be prankster should always have an escape route planned. Angry people run quite quickly.

Sleeping Posture

Don’t question it, it just works.

I swear, I have the worst sleeping posture in the world.

Haunted Housing

It’s cheap, if you don’t mind the company.

I’d like to have a ghost in my house. Not an annoying one or a scary one, but an interesting spirit. On the other hand, if it meant I didn’t have to pay much rent I’d be fine with it. Zombies on the other hand is a deal-breaker. I can’t deal with the rotting flesh.

Night Fishing

Who needs a tent when you’ve got Pirate?

Some days I want to appreciate the smaller things. The quiet moments, the wonders of doing something peaceful, and nice.

Also, I play way too much Stardew Valley. +10 Gaming Points if you understand that reference.